A woman’s own free will: On the sanctity of the marriage covenant
The Times of Israel · Pnina Omer ·
A healthy marriage means choosing each other anew every day – where turning consent into a mechanism for subjugation warps its very essence (Chayei Sarah)
Although this week’s Torah portion is named for our matriarch Sarah, it contains an important story about her daughter-in-law Rebecca, one of our younger matriarchs.
The story of Rebecca’s selection as a bride for Abraham’s son Isaac illuminates the foundational principles of the Jewish home throughout the generations: a home built upon both choice and love. This topic is always important, but is particularly relevant to examine now as this month brings the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, raising global awareness about gender-based violence, including trapping women in marriages against their will. Every year more and more Jewish women find themselves legally chained in marriages against their will, becoming agunot.
In the Torah, following Sarah’s death, Abraham charges his servant Eliezer with the task of securing a suitable bride for Isaac. Bound by an oath, Eliezer sets out for Aram-Naharaim as the faithful emissary of Abraham, seeking a woman of fine character for Isaac when he comes upon Rebecca at a well. Having discerned Rebecca’s qualities, Eliezer presents impressive gifts to Rebecca’s family, and refuses to eat until the deal is sealed. It works; Laban and Bethuel, representing the family, say yes.
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