My wife and I are in our late 70s and have no children. Who can help us in our old age?

The Guardian · Annalisa Barbieri · 2026-11-01 06:00 UTC

Getting older and losing your autonomy is even harder without family around. You need to consider both the practical and emotional issues involved

My wife and I are in our late 70s, and have been married for more than 40 years. We didn’t have kids and were rather traumatised after failed IVF.

My wife is Asian and has no UK-based family. I do, but they are not close geographically, nor are they people who would be able to give any support if needed. Friends are of a similar age and so have their own issues to deal with. My wife and I have always been a self-reliant unit, and we’re both reasonably healthy, but I’m increasingly aware that there will soon come a time when help is needed.

We should make arrangements for things such as a lasting power of attorney (LPA), but there is nobody we would trust enough and who would be willing to take on that role. As social care for older people slips further into crisis, how can we plan for the inevitable? This must be a problem faced by a significant number of people, but it doesn’t seem to be aired.

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